FANGS AND FOREPLAY… THE EROTIC ADVENTURES OF DRACULA. BY SANDRA HARRIS. © BOOK 3- PARTS 23 AND 24.

dracula caroline munro

FANGS AND FOREPLAY… THE EROTIC ADVENTURES OF DRACULA.

A NOVEL BY SANDRA HARRIS. ©

BOOK 3- CHAPTER 23.

Terry Fisher, the footman from Richmond House, and the under-coachman Freddie Francis were enjoying a frothy pint at Old Mother Reilly’s Public-House, where the view had to be seen to be believed.

At the bar stood Sally and Heidi, their two favourite prostitutes. The women downed pints and giggled together and gossiped and looked over constantly at the two young men, who were attractive enough to look at, clean and never tried to diddle them out of a few coins.

For that reason, Terry and Freddie were always welcome to try their luck at Mother Reilly’s, where comfortable enough rooms were provided upstairs for any business transactions that might be on hand.

For now, however, the women were leaving the men alone to drink and talk their men-talk, although they kept an eagle-eye out for any other whores who might try to jump their preciously-guarded claims. Terry and Freddie were, in fact, currently involved in a discussion of no small cerebral significance and appreciated the women’s keeping their distance for now.

‘So, ‘ow many times ‘ave you ridden Bessie Stoker this week then?’ inquired Freddie of Terry, who grinned and wiped a froth moustache off his upper lip before replying:

‘Three, or four if you count the blow-job in the broom closet on Wednesday morning while Old Ma Quincey were at Chapel.’

‘Lucky devil,’ said Freddie. ‘I mean, she ain’t much of a looker, Bessie, in the face, I mean, but ‘er tits and that fat wobbly arse! I’d do ‘er for them alone.’

‘I’ll put in a good word for you when I’m done wiv ‘er,’ said Terry, grinning broadly now.

‘Ow long will that take, then?’ grumbled Freddie. ‘She’s got ‘er claws into you now, ain’t she? You and ‘er are practically married.’

‘Not me!’ exclaimed Terry indignantly. ‘Just because I ride ‘er sometimes don’t mean that I owe ‘er anything. I’m a free man, me.’

‘Sure you are,’ scoffed Freddie in disbelief. ‘What about the way she’s always skulking around making cow-eyes at you? You and she’ll be starting a family next.’

Terry, alarm widening his eyes, snapped back:

‘Don’t even say that, Freddie, not even as a joke! I don’t want to be a father, not for at least another twenty years. I want to ‘ave a bit of fun first. See the world a bit.’

‘What, the view from Richmond ‘ouse, you mean?’ said Freddie sceptically. ‘Some world.’

‘I won’t always be a bleedin’ footman, will I?’ said Terry, signalling the barman for two more pints of his best ale. ‘I’m gonner make something of myself, I am.’

‘With Bessie Stoker and a passel of screaming brats hangin’ onto your coat-tails?’ said Freddie, licking his lips in anticipation of another frothy pint.

‘Will you shut yer trap about me an’ Bessie bleedin’ Stoker?’ said Terry, exasperated. ‘She don’t mean nothin’ to me, she’s just someone I ride sometimes when it suits me, that’s all. An’ if you mention ‘er name once more tonight, I’m going ‘ome, okay?’

Freddie shrugged, more interested in watching the voluptuous Heidi draw a little purse of coins from between her ample breasts than in what his friend was saying. Figuring that he and Terry had had all the man-talk they needed for one night, he beckoned to the two women waiting at the bar. They sashayed over immediately.

‘Buy us a pint, Terry my love,’ wheedled the dark-haired Sally, seating herself on his lap and exciting his male organ considerably by wriggling much more than was necessary in order to make herself comfortable. ‘I’m parching for a drop of ale, I am.’

‘Me too,’ piped up Heidi, an exotic honey-blonde of Eastern European origin, neither of the men knew where from, exactly.

‘You ‘eard ’em, Freddie,’ grinned Terry, putting his hand straight up Sally’s skirts, gratified to discover that she was wearing no undergarments and that her lady-parts were warm, wet and infinitely inviting. ‘Go get ’em what they want.’

Freddie obliged, returning almost instantly with four pints of Mother Reilly’s best ale. Sally and Terry were already kissing, Terry’s right hand down the front of her dress and his left well out of sight under her skirts.

Freddie deftly distributed the pints, then he grabbed Heidi and pulled her on to his lap, where he immediately commenced explorations similar in nature to Terry’s. Heidi’s breasts were huge and barely contained by the low-cut, wasp-waisted gown she wore. It was torn at both armpits but Freddie couldn’t have cared less. He was much more interested in what was inside her dress.

‘Give us a kiss, ‘eidi love,’ Freddie cajoled.

‘What’s it worth?’ answered back Heidi, quick as a flash.

Freddie opened his jacket to show a bulge in the inside breast pocket where nestled his purse. Heidi, satisfied, her light-green eyes gleaming at the sight of the money, wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and stuck her tongue down his throat.

FANGS AND FOREPLAY… THE EROTIC ADVENTURES OF DRACULA.

A NOVEL BY SANDRA HARRIS. ©

BOOK 3- CHAPTER 24.

It was Rent-Day at the Stokers’ house in Stocking Lane in Whitechapel. Promptly at four o’ clock (no chance he wouldn’t come, of course!), Jeremiah Nettles rapped loudly on the front door and bustled inside, filled as usual with self-importance and bluster, when Vera reluctantly admitted him.

‘Well now, well now, well now, Missus,’ he said pompously as he went straight to the tiny bedroom which Vera shared with her seven children, ‘I hope those pesky, snot-nosed brats of yours won’t be returning before we’ve- ahem- transacted our little bit of business.’

‘Do they ever?’ replied Vera bitterly, starting to disrobe so that their ‘little bit of business’ could be gotten over with as quickly as possible. She dreaded the visits from her landlord so much that they were making her feel sick. Sick and cold and shaky all over, but this was the only way she could afford to keep a roof over her own head and those of her seven children.

She really hadn’t been feeling herself lately, though. Her eyesight, failing rapidly after years of sewing by candlelight to make ends meet for her family, was causing her to have terrible headaches. They’d been so bad, Vera thought she was going out of her mind with the awful pain.

And there were times lately, oh yes, there’d been times when she hadn’t felt like herself at all. Times when she’d been hungry, exhausted, cold and fearful, most dreadfully fearful for her own and her childrens’ future. God alone knew what lay in store for them all.

God had been conspicuously absent from the little house in Stocking Lane lately, though, thought Vera, her bitterness overflowing as she watched the grossly obese Jeremiah Nettles fussily place his jacket and trousers on the one chair in the room,  after checking first to make sure that it was clean.

Vera felt insulted by this. She always kept a clean house, no matter how bad things were. She had standards, she had, whatever Mr. Hoity-Toity Jeremiah Nettles thought about her and her little family.

Her arrangement to pay Jeremiah Nettles his rent ‘in kind’ had meant that she no longer had to walk the streets of Whitechapel at night, prostituting herself to anyone who had a few coppers on him.

Sometimes, though, she thought she might prefer that to having to lie underneath her landlord’s enormous sweaty body while he laboured over her, puffing and panting like an old clapped-out pair of bellows. He disgusted her so much, it was all she could to keep from retching when he smothered her with his incredible, foul-smelling bulk so that she couldn’t move.

‘Now then, Missus, lie down and open those scrawny legs of yours,’ Jeremiah Nettles commanded, easing his bulk onto the bed. His ‘manhood,’ if you could call it that, thought Vera scornfully, was hidden under the vast folds of his hairy stomach. Disgust flooding her every pore, Vera lay rigid on the bed while her landlord settled his weight on top of her.

‘You know, Missus, I’ve been thinking,’ he said as he tried to push his wormy slug of a male organ into her waiting feminine parts (it took all Vera’s willpower not to shrink away from him, he didn’t like that and might hit her a belt) ‘that daughter of yours, the one with the pigtails, the one what comes after your Bessie, what’s ‘er name, this little flower?’

A cold feeling of dread came over Vera as she stammered:

‘Why, th-th-that’s Tabby! Why do you want to know?’

‘How old is she, Missus?’ puffed Nettles, finally inserting his excuse for a male organ where it was supposed to go and starting to thrust in and out. He was so poorly-endowed that Vera barely felt his efforts, but she smelled his fetid breath on her face and turned away in revulsion. ‘Fourteen, fifteen, what?’

‘She’s- she’s fifteen,’ replied Vera, praying to every saint she’d ever invoked in her life before that Nettles was not implying what she thought he was implying.

‘Fifteen, you don’t say?’ he murmured thoughtfully in response. ‘I would have thought younger, by Jove. You don’t feed those brats of yours enough meat, Missus, that’s what it is, not enough meat and nourishing vittles!’

He laughed uproariously at his own joke, knowing full well that Vera couldn’t afford to put meat on the table for her offspring. As he laughed, drops of spittle flew onto Vera’s face and she could see that he had a piece of food caught between two of his teeth. Her stomach turned.

‘What do you want with my Tabby?’ she said anxiously.

‘Hold your horses, Missus, hold your horses,’ said Nettles as, his fat face contorted with his efforts, he deposited his issue in Vera’s lady-parts. He huffed and puffed for several minutes more then, sweat dripping down his face and onto a revolted Vera, he continued:

‘I want ‘er here next time I come, Missus. I want you both here together. She is- ah, unknown to man, I trust?’

Vera shook her head in shock and disbelief.

‘You can’t!’ she said. ‘Not my Tabby! Not my baby! You can’t have her! I won’t let you, I won’t!’

‘You will, Missus,’ replied Jeremiah Nettles nastily, pulling his male organ out of Vera’s body with a heave and a squelching sound that was immediately followed by a loud belch and a breaking of wind.

‘You will or I’ll have the bailiffs round ‘ere to chuck you and your snot-nosed brats out onto the street. See how you and your brats like living on the streets without a man to protect you. You needn’t worry about the girl. I’ll break her in nicely, show her what a real man can do for a woman. Have her cleaned up for me, Missus, mind, between the legs and what have you,’ he added primly. ‘I don’t want to catch none of your filthy brood’s nasty lice, I don’t.’

A red mist descended over Vera’s tired, over-strained eyes. Before Nettles could begin the arduous process of heaving his bulk off of her, she reached under the mattress for the knife she’d secreted there and stuck it right up inside of him, in the place where she supposed his heart to be, that’s if he had one. She wouldn’t be surprised if he hadn’t.

He must have had something there, though, because the blood began to seep straightaway from the wound and onto a shocked Vera. Blood bubbled from his mouth too, and Vera would never forget the look of utter surprise in his piggy eyes, bulging now out of his folds of face-fat. Vera began to giggle hysterically. She laughed until the tears ran down her face.

‘You’ve done it now, Vera my girl,’ she said out loud. ‘You’ve really done it now…’

AUTHOR BIOGRAPHY OF SANDRA HARRIS.
Sandra Harris is a Dublin-based novelist, film blogger and movie reviewer. She has studied Creative Writing and Film-Making. She has published a number of e-books on the following topics: horror film reviews, multi-genre film reviews, womens’ fiction, erotic fiction, erotic horror fiction and erotic poetry. Several new books are currently in the pipeline. You can browse or buy any of Sandra’s books by following the link below straight to her Amazon Author Page:

http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B015GDE5RO

You can contact Sandra at:

https://www.facebook.com/SandraHarrisPureFilthPoetry

https://sandrafirstruleoffilmclubharris.wordpress.com

http://sexysandieblog.wordpress.com

http://serenaharker.wordpress.com

sandrasandraharris@gmail.com

https://twitter.com/SandraAuthor

FANGS AND FOREPLAY… THE EROTIC ADVENTURES OF DRACULA. BY SANDRA HARRIS. © BOOK 3- PARTS 21 AND 22.

dracula caroline munro

FANGS AND FOREPLAY… THE EROTIC ADVENTURES OF DRACULA.

A NOVEL BY SANDRA HARRIS. ©

BOOK 3- CHAPTER 21.

The moon was full tonight. It shimmered through the clouds like a lady’s ball-gown, covered in a million sequins. Millie was thankful for its light as she hurried through Birney Forest. She was anxious not to stray from the path.

The forest had an evil reputation. Even though it was several months now since first Rowena Sampson and then her older married sister Jessie had disappeared from there, young girls and women from the village of Birney were still reluctant to walk there alone.

Millie would not be walking there at all now, if it were not for the fact that she was late home tonight. Taking the short-cut through the forest might just get her back home and into her bed before her father returned from Jack Walton’s tavern and gave her hell for breaking her curfew.

She’d had ever such a lovely time tonight with Simeon Randall, the older brother of Jamie Randall who was courting Tamsin, the barmaid at Jack Walton’s. Simeon was different to the outgoing, mischievous Jamie, Jamie with his devil-may-care good looks and the devastating white smile that would charm the birds out of the trees.

Simeon, who ran his own coach business with the help of Jamie, was not as handsome as his brother, but he was tall and strong and he’d made Millie feel so safe and protected tonight as she’d lain naked in his massive arms after they’d made love. He’d taken her virginity tonight and he’d been ever so gentle about it.

She’d just die if she were pregnant, she would, but Simeon had pulled out like he’d promised so fingers crossed she’d be all right. Fingers crossed, Millie, fingers crossed, was what her mother said every month while she anxiously awaited her own monthlies.

Seven children her mother had had and she was determined to have no more, but her mother’s determination on the subject did not deter Millie’s father, who rowdily insisted on his conjugal rights almost every night on his arrival home from Jack Walton’s.

The moon went behind a cloud suddenly. Millie, temporarily deprived of her source of light, tripped over the root of a tree that jutted out over the path. A gigantic old tree it was, gnarled and ancient. The forest was filled with such antiquities.

Winded, Millie lay prone for a moment to catch her breath after the sudden shock. Shakily, she got to her feet, brushing the leaves and little twigs from her dress. It was crumpled enough already from having spent an hour or two on Simeon Randall’s bedroom floor without adding muck from the forest floor to the mix.

The moon came out from behind the clouds and illuminated the forest as if it were day-time. On the path in front of Elizabeth, surely no more than ten or twenty feet away, were two women. They were certainly women, Millie thought as she blinked in surprise and curiosity, but they were unlike any women Millie had ever seen before in her life.

They were beautiful to be sure, but in an otherwordly kind of way, not like the women from around here. One was blonde, with long hair that fell to her waist like a fairytale princess in a childrens’ story-book. Her low-cut gown was of midnight blue, and her breasts were full and luminously white in the glow of the moon. She was a breath-taking sight indeed.

The other woman was dark-haired, with black curls piled Grecian-style on top of her head and a white sleeveless gown, again Grecian-style, cinched around her tiny waist with a wide gold belt. It was this woman who spoke, breaking the silence of the forest. The night was so quiet, not even an owl could be heard hooting.

‘Come here, child,’ said the dark-haired woman. ‘There’s nothing to be frightened of.’

Millie, to her amazement, found herself stumbling forward on unsteady legs. When she was close enough to reach out and touch the strange women, she stopped, her heart pounding. Now she could see them both properly, she was even more in awe of them.

The blonde woman wore a necklace around her white throat that even Millie, with her inexpert eye, could tell was a real jewel. It was a blood-red stone in the shape of a love-heart that nestled between the woman’s breasts and nearly took Millie’s breath away. From the woman’s ears dangled matching blood-red earrings and on her wedding finger, she wore a heavy ruby ring, the most magnificent piece of jewellery Millie had ever laid eyes on.

‘What a pretty thing you are!’ said the dark-haired woman, picking up one of Millie’s soft brown ringlets and twirling it around her finger. ‘What do you think, Countess?’ she added, addressing the blonde-haired woman, whose intense blue eyes roved over Millie’s face and body. Millie was a well-developed young woman of nineteen, whose curves had drawn the eyes of most of the men in the village by now.

‘I’m inclined to agree, Valeria,’ remarked the blonde woman softly in refined tones, certainly not the village brogue. ‘This is a rare find indeed.’

Millie, standing and staring at both women as if in a trance, could only wonder if she were dreaming. Was this even real, or was it a dream? She had never seen creatures this exotic, this different from the village women, in her whole life.

Her head felt funny, as if she were light-headed or something. Her mind was muzzy, that’s what it was. She had no control over her body, either. She was rooted to the spot as if a witch had cast a spell over her, some kind of mystical enchantment.

‘And look at this, Countess,’ exclaimed the woman called Valeria, suddenly tearing at the front of Millie’s dress with a surprising strength. Her actions exposed Millie’s breasts, round and white and firm, with pinkish nipples that stiffened when exposed to the cool night air.

Millie tried to shriek, to protest somehow at this shocking assault on her modesty, but she could not make a sound above a strangled whimper, and her arms would not move to cover her breasts. She was powerless to do anything but wait, wait to see what it was that these strange women, these apparitions, required of her.

The blonde woman smiled suddenly, revealing two hideous fangs on either side of her mouth. She placed her hands on Millie’s breasts and squeezed them hard, much harder than Simeon had done earlier on tonight. The other woman, the dark-haired one called Valeria, smiled a similarly terrifying smile, the fangs in her mouth gleaming bright white in the moonlight.

This woman held Millie’s arms fast from behind, though there was no need. Millie could not have moved, nor yet screamed, to save her life. A horrible crunching sound and a searing pain in the left side of her neck were the last things she knew before she fell to the ground in a dead faint, the two women standing over her with sneers of lust and triumph on their perfect faces.

FANGS AND FOREPLAY… THE EROTIC ADVENTURES OF DRACULA.

A NOVEL BY SANDRA HARRIS. ©

BOOK 3- CHAPTER 22.

Igor the hump-backed gate-keeper, watched intently as the two women glided arm-in-arm back through the gates which he’d left ajar. They were giggling like schoolgirls, talking animatedly together about their high-jinks, with the blood from their kill still dripping down their perfect little chins.

Igor would have tugged respectfully on his forelock had they seen him but they were in their own little world and paid him no attention. Valeria it was who’d asked him to leave the gates open for their little jaunt. She’d reminded him too to say nothing of this to the Master, who would have had Igor’s hide if he’d had even an inkling of what had transpired this night.

Igor owed Valeria for past favours, so he’d done what she asked. Then he’d watched from a discreet distance as the two she-devils sighted their prey, a pretty young woman from the village called Millie Something, Millie Myers, maybe, and then jumped upon it.

They’d drunk every drop of the woman’s blood, then left the drained and lifeless carcass on the forest floor, where it would no doubt already be attracting the attention of the forest beasts.

Now Igor would bury it where no-one would ever find it, except maybe the worms. He trudged into the forest, an accursed place if ever he’d seen one, carrying his shovel over his shoulder and whistling tunelessly. He’d done work like this before.

It didn’t take him long to find the woman where those two fanged bitches had left her. He’d watched them kill her, hadn’t he? He shuddered at the sight of the pale-faced, pitifully naked creature who lay so limp and lifeless in a patch of ferns.

She’d been pretty once, this little Millie Myers, if such was her name, but what man would want her now? Her breasts and buttocks and inner thighs were bitten and scratched so badly it made even Igor wince at the sight. God alone knew what those two vicious she-devils had done to the girl.

They were so beautiful to look at, both of them, Valeria and the Master’s bride, Countess Anna, but they had hearts as black as the pits of Hell underneath their perfect facades.

Igor got on with his job. He’d didn’t care to spend any more time in this bleak, grim forest than he had to. Besides, Desdemona was waiting for him by now back in the gatekeeper’s lodge, his quarters.

‘Where have you been?’ she queried him petulantly when he returned, sweaty and covered in the dirt of the girl’s tomb. She was six feet under now, that little Millie, and likely to remain so. Her family would mourn her but they would never find her rotting corpse, not where Igor had put the poor scrap of humanity. Igor was good at burying the bodies of women. He’d had plenty of practice.

‘I ‘ad a job to do for the Master,’ Igor answered abruptly. Never tell a woman more than she needed to know, that was Igor’s motto. He’d parked the muddy shovel against the wall of the gatehouse hallway, where the Master wouldn’t see it when he came home through the gates in his carriage. Now he pulled off his sweat-soaked shirt while Desdemona watched him intently from her position stretched out on the bed.

Igor was not self-conscious about the hump on his back in front of Desdemona. Desdemona, fascinated by his deformity, had kissed and licked every inch of it and even liked to hold onto it tightly while she lay beneath him during their coupling. She even raked her blood-red nails against it, that was how much she liked its feel.

Now she openly eyed it, lust in her she-devil’s green eyes. Igor was not tall, and with the hump and his solid build, he might have been taken for squat. But he was only thirty years of age and his face, framed by his over-long brown hair, was not exactly unpleasing to the female eye.

Best of all, Mother Nature had compensated him for the hump by generously endowing him with a male organ of above average length and thickness. This held Desdemona’s interest long after she would normally have tired of him. Igor was grateful for this fact. Desdemona was one of the most exotic and lustful of the Count’s vampire handmaidens.

When Igor was naked, his maleness springing automatically to attention like a soldier on parade, he climbed onto the bed and began immediately to seek out Desdemona’s female parts beneath her wine-red velvet dress. She wore no undergarments, the randy whore, just like all of the Count’s sex-slaves, and parted her milk-white thighs readily.

‘Lick me, Igor,’ she said huskily, gesturing towards the thatch of jet-black hair between her legs, as waywardly curly as the hair on her head. Igor’s eyes widened greedily at the sight of the red lips that nestled between those thighs, jewelled with little glistening drops of moisture.

Was there ever such a sight? It was enough to drive a man clean out of his mind. Desdemona spread the lips wide open with her white fingers. Igor needed no further invitation. He bent his head towards her and licked his own lips…

AUTHOR BIOGRAPHY OF SANDRA HARRIS.
Sandra Harris is a Dublin-based novelist, film blogger and movie reviewer. She has studied Creative Writing and Film-Making. She has published a number of e-books on the following topics: horror film reviews, multi-genre film reviews, womens’ fiction, erotic fiction, erotic horror fiction and erotic poetry. Several new books are currently in the pipeline. You can browse or buy any of Sandra’s books by following the link below straight to her Amazon Author Page:

http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B015GDE5RO

You can contact Sandra at:

https://www.facebook.com/SandraHarrisPureFilthPoetry

https://sandrafirstruleoffilmclubharris.wordpress.com

http://sexysandieblog.wordpress.com

http://serenaharker.wordpress.com

sandrasandraharris@gmail.com

https://twitter.com/SandraAuthor

THE RAVEN, STARRING VINCENT PRICE AND BORIS KARLOFF. (1963) REVIEW BY SANDRA HARRIS. ©

raven boysTHE RAVEN. (1963) AN AMERICAN INTERNATIONAL PICTURE. BASED ON THE POEM BY EDGAR ALLAN POE. PRODUCED AND DIRECTED BY ROGER CORMAN. SCREENPLAY BY RICHARD MATHESON. MUSIC BY LES BAXTER. EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS: JAMES H. NICHOLSON AND SAMUEL Z. ARKOFF.

STARRING VINCENT PRICE, PETER LORRE, BORIS KARLOFF, HAZEL COURT, OLIVE STURGESS AND JACK NICHOLSON.

REVIEW BY SANDRA HARRIS. ©

This quaintly charming horror film is a marvellous example of the work that Roger Corman and Vincent Price did together for AMERICAN INTERNATIONAL PICTURES. With a little help, of course, from a certain sombre-faced writer who went by the name of Edgar Allan Poe, haha.

THE RAVEN begins- and ends- with beloved horror icon Vincent Price actually reciting Poe’s famous poem of the same name and he really does the grim but beautiful words justice. In fact, if you’re going to get someone to read Poe’s words, you really couldn’t do better than have Vincent Price do the job in his deliciously distinctive spooky voice.

My wee son does an impression of the late Vincent Price’s voice that’s so like him it’s uncanny. I really must record him doing it one day for posterity…!

Anyway, in the film THE RAVEN, a rather splendidly-dressing-gowned Vincent Price, playing the magician Erasmus Craven, is sitting about at home when an actual raven comes tap-tap-tapping upon his chamber door, believe it or not. In point of fact, the bird comes to the window but I don’t think that there’s any mention of that in the poem, haha.

The wise-cracking bird turns out to be none other than Peter Lorre under a spell or ‘enchantment,’ put there by an evil wizard called Dr. Scarabus. Some highly hilarious rooting about for ingredients from his dead scientist father’s old laboratory leads to Craven being able to release the Raven, aka Peter Lorre as a boozy second-rate magician called Bedlo, from the spell. The insanity does not, of course, end there…

Bedlo stirs the pot big-time by informing a shocked Craven that he’s seen Craven’s dead wife’s spirit hanging around this Dr. Scarabus’s gaff. Now, Craven still loves the deceased Lenore with every fibre of his being and he’s hell-bent on charging around to Dr. Scarabus’s place to see if what Bedlo says is true.

Also, Bedlo wants his magic-kit back from Scarabus’s house where Scarabus is apparently holding it hostage. The pair high-tail it there in a carriage, accompanied by Craven’s beautiful daughter Estelle and Bedlo’s handsome but rather clown-ish son Rexford, played by a really young Jack Nicholson, long before ever he flew over the cuckoo’s nest to land head-first in THE SHINING…

Horror legend Boris Karloff is magnificent as the aforementioned Dr. Scarabus, a wizard with powers far superior to Bedlo’s but about equal with Craven’s. He greets the deputation with a fake hospitality, feigning polite surprise at their various complaints.

A little display of Dr. Scarabus’s powers over dinner puts Bedlo firmly back in his box. Craven will not be so easy to outwit. But Craven is horribly distracted by the shocking return to life of someone he was sure was dead…

The duel between the two wizards is superbly done and hilariously funny. Vincent Price can be awfully mischievous when he wants to be. The fun and games are wonderful to witness, although the outcome of the duel is never really in doubt. Or is it…?

Hazel Court is fantastic (and delightfully booby-licious!) as the lady whose name we won’t mention for fear of spoilers. Suffice it to say that she also plays a beautiful but duplicitous wife in the excellent horror movie PREMATURE BURIAL starring Ray Milland, a story also based on a work by Mr. Poe. He surely wrote a lot of grim stuff, didn’t he…?

It probably goes without saying that the three leads, Messrs Price, Lorre and Karloff, more than justify their places at the top of the horror tree by turning in warm, passionate and deeply humorous performances. Vincent Price in particular is just marvellous to watch. He’s just having so much fun with it and you can really tell.

As always with AMERICAN INTERNATIONAL PICTURES, the settings, furnishings and costumes are lavishly-gorgeous and rich and gloriously-coloured, with the lovely russets, reds and orangey-browns coming to the forefront as always.

Dr. Scarabus’s castle exterior takes the form of a stunning-looking painting and the shots of the sea are just beautiful. The film is quite similar to another horror film about the spirit of naughty deceased wives called THE TERROR, also starring Boris Karloff and a young Jack Nicholson. If you haven’t already seen this one, it’s well worth checking out.

THE RAVEN is a terrific watch, anyway. You should put it on one dark windy night when you’re all on your own in the darkened house. That way, when something sinister comes tap-tap-tapping upon your chamber door, it’ll turn the blood in your veins to ice just to hear it, and isn’t it just delightful to be scared stiff…?

AUTHOR BIOGRAPHY OF SANDRA HARRIS.
Sandra Harris is a Dublin-based novelist, film blogger and movie reviewer. She has studied Creative Writing and Film-Making. She has published a number of e-books on the following topics: horror film reviews, multi-genre film reviews, womens’ fiction, erotic fiction, erotic horror fiction and erotic poetry. Several new books are currently in the pipeline. You can browse or buy any of Sandra’s books by following the link below straight to her Amazon Author Page:

http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B015GDE5RO

You can contact Sandra at:

https://www.facebook.com/SandraHarrisPureFilthPoetry

https://sandrafirstruleoffilmclubharris.wordpress.com

http://sexysandieblog.wordpress.com

http://serenaharker.wordpress.com

sandrasandraharris@gmail.com

https://twitter.com/SandraAuthor

THE BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAI and ZULU: A DUO OF SUPERB WAR FILMS REVIEWED BY SANDRA HARRIS. ©

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THE BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAI and ZULU: A DUO OF SUPERB EPIC WAR FILMS REVIEWED BY SANDRA HARRIS. ©

THE BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAI. (1957) BASED ON THE 1952 BOOK BY PIERRE BOULLE. DIRECTED BY DAVID LEAN. STARRING ALEC GUINNESS, JACK HAWKINS, WILLIAM HOLDEN, JAMES DONALD, GEOFFREY HORNE AND SESSUE HAYAKAWA.

ZULU. (1964) DIRECTED, CO-PRODUCED AND CO-WRITTEN BY CY ENDFIELD. STARRING STANLEY BAKER, MICHAEL CAINE, JACK HAWKINS, ULLA JACOBSSON, NIGEL GREEN, PATRICK MAGEE, JAMES BOOTH AND CHIEF BUTHELEZI. NARRATION BY RICHARD BURTON.

These are undoubtedly two of the best war films that have ever been made. I’ve loved ’em both since I first clapped eyes on them and I’m thrilled to be reviewing them together like this.

Starring some of the finest actors in cinema history, they’ve won a ton of awards between them and are always featuring on lists detailing the best films of all time. There are quite a few similarities between them as well, as it happens. Let’s take a closer look at both movies, shall we, and see what we make of ’em…

THE BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAI tells the story (fictional, but based on some fact) of a large group of British soldiers who are taken prisoner by the Japanese during WW2. They are sent to a prisoner-of-war camp in Burma and forced to build the titular bridge which will connect Bangkok and Rangoon when it is completed.

ZULU is a dramatisation of an actual battle, the Battle of Rorke’s Drift, that took place between British soldiers and the massive Zulu army in early 1879 in Natal. It was during the Anglo-Zulu War that it happened. In the film, the same Zulus have just massacred large numbers of the British force at the Battle of Isandlwana.

Now they’re coming for the one-hundred-and-fifty of Her Majesty’s soldiers, many of them injured and in the sick bay, who currently occupy the little missionary station at Rorke’s Drift. The odds against the British soldiers are impossible. They’re dead men walking now, surely…?

Both films portray the British soldiers as courageous hard workers who keep a stiff upper lip at all times and never abandon their principles. They’re true Englishmen, after all, from a civilised country where people drink a nice cup of tea and read the morning paper unhurriedly regardless of the situation. It’s a good way to be, eh what, chaps?

Alec Guinness’s stiff upper lip as Lieutenant Colonel Nicholson in THE BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAI nearly gets him killed. He clashes with Colonel Saito, the man in charge of the Japanese prison camp, over a rather piddling matter of principle for which he’s (Nicholson) clearly prepared to die.

It’s almost a huge relief when eventually the equally stubborn pair put aside their differences and decide, for their mutual benefit, to build the best damn bridge they’re capable of creating between them.

Michael Caine is superb in ZULU as the posh privileged army officer with the fancy toff’s name of Lieutenant Gonville Bromhead. He comes from a family of army royalty and initially looks down on Stanley Baker’s Lieutenant Chard.

Chard is an engineer who, incidentally, is busily- and sweatily!- engaged in building a bridge when Bromhead swans up on his horse, as cool as the proverbial cucumber. What is it with army men and their little bridges…? The two men quickly learn to work together, however, when those pesky Zulus start swarming over the horizon…

Although my favourite characters from THE BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAI are those of Nicholson and Colonel Saito, William Holden is top-notch too as the American prisoner-of-war, Commander Shears. He daringly escapes from the impossible-to-escape-from prison camp and then is horrified when he’s asked to go back there by Jack Hawkins as the English Major Warden, who has orders to blow up the bridge that his fellow Englishman Nicholson has so lovingly created. Blow up the bridge? Jolly good show, chaps. Jolly good show…!

Actor Jack Hawkins is another feature that both films have in common. He also stars in ZULU as the rather naïve Swedish missionary Otto Witt, father to the beautiful Ulla Jacobsson’s Margareta and a man who’s partial to a bit of a tipple.

I love when that fine South African-born British character actor Nigel Green (COUNTESS DRACULA with Ingrid Pitt) as the exceptionally stiff-upper-lipped Colour Sergeant Bourne tells the drunken Otto Witt to ‘quiet down now sir, there’s a good gentleman, you’re scaring the lads…!’

Nigel Green gets another great line when a green and terrified young soldier says to him as they quietly wait to be overrun by Zulus: ‘Why us, Sarge?’ Not turning a hair, the splendidly-moustached Colour Sergeant Bourne replies: ‘Because we’re here, lad. Because we’re here…’

In a nice touch of authenticity, the real-life Chief Buthelezi plays his own great-grandfather, the Zulu King Cetshwayo, in the film. Also, a lot of singing talent is on show here as the Zulus take on the Welsh soldiers in the regiment in a sort of THE VOICE OF WALES X FACTOR MEETS ZULU’S GOT TALENT type of thing so be sure and buy the soundtrack…!

There are lots of terrific actors in minor roles in both films too, such as James Donald as the infinitely civilised and reasonable but also pragmatic Major Clipton in THE BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAI and another James, this time James Booth, from ZULU. He plays the malingerer Private Henry Hook, the guy with the bad attitude who rather surprisingly ends up winning an award for bravery along with no small number of his colleagues.

These are two cracking war films that’ll make great viewing if you were to watch ’em back-to-back some lazy Saturday afternoon, like I’ve just done myself. Don’t forget to maintain that stiff upper lip throughout, though, and keep a tight rein on any tears that might threaten to fall during your viewing of this truly smashing and emotional double-feature.

It’s just not the done thing to sob and sniffle like hysterical women in front of the ranks, you know. As to what exactly constitutes the done thing, well, you know what, old boy? In the words of a certain Colonel Nicholson: ‘I haven’t the foggiest…!’

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AUTHOR BIOGRAPHY OF SANDRA HARRIS.
Sandra Harris is a Dublin-based novelist, film blogger and movie reviewer. She has studied Creative Writing and Film-Making. She has published a number of e-books on the following topics: horror film reviews, multi-genre film reviews, womens’ fiction, erotic fiction, erotic horror fiction and erotic poetry. Several new books are currently in the pipeline. You can browse or buy any of Sandra’s books by following the link below straight to her Amazon Author Page:

http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B015GDE5RO

You can contact Sandra at:

https://www.facebook.com/SandraHarrisPureFilthPoetry

https://sandrafirstruleoffilmclubharris.wordpress.com

http://sexysandieblog.wordpress.com

http://serenaharker.wordpress.com

sandrasandraharris@gmail.com

https://twitter.com/SandraAuthor

HAMMER HORROR’S KISS OF THE VAMPIRE. (1963) REVIEW BY SANDRA HARRIS. ©

kiss of the vampire showdownKISS OF THE VAMPIRE aka KISS OF EVIL (when shown on American television). (1963) HAMMER FILM PRODUCTIONS. DIRECTED BY DON SHARP. PRODUCED BY ANTHONY HINDS. WRITTEN BY ANTHONY HINDS UNDER THE NAME ‘JOHN ELDER.’ STARRING EDWARD DE SOUZA, JENNIFER DANIEL, CLIFFORD EVANS, NOEL WILLMAN, BARRY WARREN, JACQUIE WALLIS, PETER MADDEN AND VERA COOK. REVIEW BY SANDRA HARRIS. ©

This is another fantastic entry in the Hammer Horror canon of DRACULA-slash-vampire films. It comes five years after Christopher Lee first donned the cloak and fangs to play Bram Stoker’s timeless horror creation Count Dracula for Hammer Film Productions, and a mere two years before Sir Christopher reprised his role again in Hammer’s DRACULA: PRINCE OF DARKNESS.

Neither Christopher Lee as the Count nor Peter Cushing as Van Helsing the vampire-hunter appear in KISS OF THE VAMPIRE, my only gripe with an otherwise perfect vampire film. Let’s take a look at the plot, shall we, film buffs…?

A young just-married couple, Gerald and Marianne Harcourt, are honeymooning in Bavaria, definitely a gorgeous spot for honeymooning. Except for the cult of bloodsucking vampires that occupy the castle overlooking the village where the Harcourts are obliged to spend several days due to motor-car trouble. See what you get for trusting so-called modern technology? You’d never have had that trouble with a coach and horses…!

The little inn where the young couple are staying over, rather ambitiously monikered the ‘Grand Hotel,’ is a quaint and charming wee place. The landlady, Anna, nurses a terrible un-named sadness, however, and her lovely old hubby Bruno, while suffering too, is just trying to get on with things. You know the way men are, haha.

An invitation for the young English couple to dine at the aforementioned castle, the property of a Dr. Ravna, is the source of much excitement at the little inn. Gerald and Marianne, in particular Marianne, are positively captivated by the charming doctor and his attractive and accomplished grown-up children, Carl and Sabena.

A party invite comes hot on the heels of the dinner invitation for the Harcourts. It’s a sexy masked ball and the booze is flowing, especially for the not-exactly-used-to-it Gerald, who wakes from a drunken-and-drugged stupor to find his wife missing. What’s more, the Ravnas are closing ranks and claiming that they know nothing at all about any so-called wife of his…

A friend of mine has remarked in the past that Dr. Ravna looks like Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing mashed together. Sometimes I see it, sometimes I don’t. I do think, however, that the rather wooden Marianne, she of the fixed expression and unmoving hairstyle, resembles no-one so much as Doris Mann, the blonde woman from the marvellous spoof horror film CARRY ON SCREAMING who gets turned into a mannequin. Even being turned into a vampire-hussy doesn’t cause her expression to change or her hair to move at all…!

I love Clifford Evans as the alcoholic Professor Zimmer, who has good reason to be hitting the booze so hard and so often. Under his sternly-bearded exterior, he shares a joint pain with Anna and Bruno, the inn-keepers. He might also be the only person who can help a shell-shocked Gerald to free his missus from the cult of the vampires.

I don’t know if I’d bother if I were Gerald. I’m sure that Marianne could be easily replaced at any good department store where mannequins adorn the window displays. Sorry, sorry. I love the film, but Blondie surely could have used some serious loosening up…!

The film is as gorgeously filmed and coloured as you might expect from any Hammer production, with stunningly beautiful costumes, scenery, settings and interiors. I don’t like KISS OF THE VAMPIRE as much as, say, BRIDES OF DRACULA or any of the Christopher Lee Dracula films, but it’s still a super-worthy addition to the Hammer canon of brilliant vampire films.

Stakes through the heart, black magic, a bloodstained chest (though not the kind you’re thinking of!) and a thoroughly unusual ending make for an extremely enjoyable watch all round. Vampirism is here depicted as a sort of social disease that mostly afflicts those enjoying a decadent lifestyle. Another reason to keep buying those Lotto tickets, so…!

AUTHOR BIOGRAPHY OF SANDRA HARRIS.

Sandra Harris is a Dublin-based novelist, film blogger and movie reviewer. She has studied Creative Writing and Film-Making. She has published a number of e-books on the following topics: horror film reviews, multi-genre film reviews, womens’ fiction, erotic fiction, erotic horror fiction and erotic poetry. Several new books are currently in the pipeline. You can browse or buy any of Sandra’s books by following the link below straight to her Amazon Author Page:

http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B015GDE5RO

You can contact Sandra at:

https://www.facebook.com/SandraHarrisPureFilthPoetry

https://sandrafirstruleoffilmclubharris.wordpress.com

http://sexysandieblog.wordpress.com

http://serenaharker.wordpress.com

sandrasandraharris@gmail.com

https://twitter.com/SandraAuthor

HAMMER HORROR’S BRIDES OF DRACULA. (1960) REVIEW BY SANDRA HARRIS. ©

yvonne monlaurTHE BRIDES OF DRACULA. (1960) HAMMER FILM PRODUCTIONS. DISTRIBUTED BY UNIVERSAL INTERNATIONAL. DIRECTED BY TERENCE FISHER. PRODUCED BY ANTHONY HINDS.

STARRING PETER CUSHING, MARTITA HUNT, YVONNE MONLAUR, DAVID PEEL, FREDA JACKSON, ANDRÉE MELLY, MILES MALLESON, MICHAEL RIPPER AND MARIE DEVEREAUX.

REVIEW BY SANDRA HARRIS. ©

Oh wow. This is one of my personal favourites in the Hammer Horror canon of DRACULA films. It might even be my favourite of the lot of ’em if it weren’t for the fact that Christopher Lee is noticeably absent from the cast.

Luckily for his fans, the devastatingly handsome and sexually magnetic six-foot-five actor agreed to reprise his role as the Prince of Darkness in the 1965 DRACULA film which was called, coincidentally enough, DRACULA: PRINCE OF DARKNESS. Wasn’t that a big coincidence?

As you can probably see, I’m something of a fan of the late great Sir Chris. I’ve always felt a little bit connected to him through a series of other little coincidences. As a matter of fact, I joined Facebook on his birthday without knowing at the time that it was his birthday.

If that doesn’t seem like a big deal, well then, get your laughing gear around this little fact. On the day he died (not the day on which his passing was revealed to the public), I emailed my novel in three parts (then only two!) to Mr. Lee’s agent with a note asking said agent nicely to pass it on to him personally.

Entitled at the time ANNA MEETS COUNT DRACULA, now updated to FANGS AND FOREPLAY… THE EROTIC ADVENTURES OF DRACULA, the lead character is modelled wholly on Christopher Lee’s Dracula in the Hammer Horror films of the ’50s, ’60s and ’70s. Only with- ahem- added sexiness and tons and tons of sex and spanking.

Naturally, he would have read it, loved it and proposed that I write the film script for it. And of course, despite his advanced years, he would have wanted to play the leading role himself. If only things had worked out differently for us…!

Anyway, you’ll have gathered that, while I adore this film, I don’t dig the Baron Meinster (David Peel) as the head neck-biter here. Whoever heard of a blonde-haired Dracula figure? It’s an abomination! Other than that one little gripe, THE BRIDES OF DRACULA is sheer perfection from start to finish.

The stunningly beautiful and, sadly, recently deceased Yvonne Monlaur plays Marianne Danielle, a young Frenchwoman travelling alone through Hammer’s gorgeously-imagined Transylvania. She’s on her way to take up a position as a teacher of French and Deportment at a posh swanky girls’ finishing-school.

She does no teaching worth a damn in the whole film, though. Circumstances see her breaking her journey overnight at the castle-in-the-mountains home of the Baroness Meinster, a magnificent old dame with more chutzpah than a whole bevy of finishing-school beauties put together.

She’s marvellously played by Martita Hunt, an actress who once went up in flames in the dusty old surrounds of Charles Dickens’ Satis House as the lovelorn Miss Havisham. That 1946 adaptation of GREAT EXPECTATIONS, also starring John Mills as Pip, was the first time I ever saw Martita Hunt act and I never forgot how wonderful she was. I absolutely adore her in BRIDES OF DRACULA.

The Baroness’s feisty exterior masks a terrible sadness and an even worse secret. Nosy little Marianne can’t, of course, resist poking her exquisite little French nose into the tortured old noblewoman’s business.

When she finds out what the Baroness and her loyal servant Greta have been hiding, she most unwisely sets their ‘secret’ free. Free to wreak the most unimaginable horrors on the people of Transylvania, that is. And neither Marianne nor her pupils at the school will escape unscathed…

Peter Cushing is fantastic as always as the impeccably-suited and beautifully-spoken Dr. Van Helsing, the authority on the ‘cult of the Un-Dead’ who are threatening to consume the little village in an orgy of bloodlust and godlessness. He handles himself with aplomb and undoubted gutsiness against the horrors of vampirism and those who practise it.

Freda Jackson does a terrific job of portraying the crazy-as-a-loon Greta, the faithful old servant of Baroness Meinster’s whose mind is destroyed by the turn of events. Kudos also to Andrée Melly and Marie Devereaux, who make stunning Brides for the evil disciple of Dracula’s.

Miles Malleson (1888-1969) is brilliant also as the fee-hungry Dr. Tobler who likes the odd tipple. Like, every five minutes, haha. He plays a dotty entymologist Bishop in the 1959 Hammer version of THE HOUND OF THE BASKERVILLES (also starring Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing) who also likes a tipple. Very much so. A small sherry here, a small sherry there, they all add up. I wonder how much booze his on-screen characters consumed over the years…!

Miles Malleson was actually born the year that the scallywag known as Jack The Ripper cut a bloody swathe through the- ahem- working girls of Whitechapel, London. Isn’t that incredible, that he was born that long ago? It kind of boggles the mind to think that far back.

THE BRIDES OF DRACULA pre-dates all the nudity and sexiness of the Hammer DRACULA films from the ’70s, but it’s still more than sexy enough to satisy the naughty viewers who tune in to Hammer as much for the glamour as for the storylines.

The settings and costumes are, as always, fabulously-coloured and lavish, and it would be a Fussy Freddie indeed who doesn’t imagine himself back in nineteenth-century Transylvania when he watches the film. The film surely has that unmistakable Hammer Horror ‘feel’ and vibe to it.

And Yvonne Monlaur is surely one of the greatest beauties of the modern era. Those eyes and full, succulent blow-job lips…! Snigger. I mean that in the nicest possible way. She’s a knockout. And so is the film. Miss it, as they say, at your peril. And they’d be right. Un-dead right…

AUTHOR BIOGRAPHY OF SANDRA HARRIS.

Sandra Harris is a Dublin-based novelist, film blogger and movie reviewer. She has studied Creative Writing and Film-Making. She has published a number of e-books on the following topics: horror film reviews, multi-genre film reviews, womens’ fiction, erotic fiction, erotic horror fiction and erotic poetry. Several new books are currently in the pipeline. You can browse or buy any of Sandra’s books by following the link below straight to her Amazon Author Page:

http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B015GDE5RO

You can contact Sandra at:

https://www.facebook.com/SandraHarrisPureFilthPoetry

https://sandrafirstruleoffilmclubharris.wordpress.com

http://sexysandieblog.wordpress.com

http://serenaharker.wordpress.com

sandrasandraharris@gmail.com

https://twitter.com/SandraAuthor