ANACONDA. (1997) REVIEW BY SANDRA HARRIS. ©


ANACONDA. (1997) DIRECTED BY LUIS LLOSA. STARRING JENNIFER LOPEZ, JON VOIGHT, ICE CUBE, ERIC STOLTZ, OWEN WILSON, DANNY TREJO AND JONATHAN HYDE.
REVIEW BY SANDRA HARRIS. ©

I love a good creature feature, especially if the creature is out-sized like, say, King Kong or Godzilla, but this film is pretty awful. I remember liking it years ago when I saw it first, but I must have been easier to please back then, lol. Or maybe, as is more likely, I had a skewered sense of size because of all the guys who tried to persuade me that, yes, six inches really did look like what they said it did. Say no more…

So, anyway, Jennifer Lopez plays Terri Flores, who hopes to earn her big break as a documentary film-maker doing a film on one of the lost indigenous tribes of the Amazon Jungle, the Shirishamas. She gathers together her crew and duly heads down the biggest river in the world, the river that ‘can kill you in a thousand different ways,’ as one of the characters later remarks.

Terri and her motley crew soon come upon a stranded Paraguayan snake hunter called Paul Serone (Jon Voight) and offer to give him a ride on their boat. In return, Serone promises to lead them straight to the land of the Shirishamas, the so-called ‘people of the mist,’ which is handy, right?

What Terri and her crew don’t know, however, is that the ‘stranding’ was all a big hoax and Serone is a professional snake hunter, who is using them to help him locate and capture the giant green anaconda which he is convinced will net him a million dollars and more. He steers Terri & Co. inexorably in the direction of the lair of the biggest snake on the whole planet…

Terri’s sound guy, Gary, played by Owen Wilson, is seduced by the promise of fame and fortune and goes over to Serone’s side, but J-Lo and her cameraman and childhood friend Danny (Ice Cube) are furious and try various ruses to incapacitate the sinister and greed-motivated Serone. Well, they try one ruse, anyway, but it doesn’t entirely work. C’est la vie, huh?

Then, of course, there’s the giant snake, who, as I said earlier, impressed me once with his great size but not this time. And I think he’s actually computerised and looks it, which is kind of disappointing. Still, he eats everyone you’d expect him to eat, except for J-Lo, her injured boyfriend Professor Steven Cale (Eric Stoltz) and- surprise of surprises!- the black guy, Danny.

I fully expected the black guy to bite the dust first, as per the film ethos of the time, but, no, not only does he not get killed but he’s afforded the same level of protection as J-Lo, the beautiful leading lady, and survives to the end. If this very ‘meh’ film does nothing else, it does that…!

You will recognise Jonathan Hyde as the crew’s posh English narrator, and cool guy Danny Trejo as the guy who’s killed at the start by the snake. There’s not really a whole lot else to say about this movie. It will kill ninety minutes for you, if that’s what you’d like, but if you remember it for longer than that after watching it, I’ll be very surprised.

AUTHOR BIOGRAPHY OF SANDRA HARRIS.
 
Sandra Harris is a Dublin-based novelist, poet, short story writer and film and book blogger. She has studied Creative Writing and Vampirology. She has published a number of e-books on the following topics: horror film reviews, multi-genre film reviews, women’s fiction, erotic fiction, erotic horror fiction and erotic poetry. Several new books are currently in the pipeline. You can browse or buy any of Sandra’s books by following the link below straight to her Amazon Author Page:
http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B015GDE5RO
Her debut romantic fiction novel, ‘THIRTEEN STOPS,’ is out now from Poolbeg Books:
https://www.amazon.com/Thirteen-Stops-Sandra-Harris-ebook/dp/B089DJMH64
The sequel, ‘THIRTEEN STOPS LATER,’ is out now from Poolbeg Books:
 https://www.amazon.com/dp/1781994234

2 thoughts on “ANACONDA. (1997) REVIEW BY SANDRA HARRIS. ©

  1. Ahh the late 90’s adventure/horror films! I know they look pretty terrible but I always loved this and 1995’s Congo. For some reason I put the two together. I think these movies tapped into the ignorant consensus regarding these creatures. Not much was really known about these giant snakes and from we knew, this movie wasn’t taking liberties. National Geographic and animal planet quickly put those fears to rest for me when I was young but this movie is still fun in many regards. Sure it’s stupid and completely off the rails. But I appreciate some of what it does. A shut your brain off creature feature that explored some cool deaths.

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