FANGS AND FOREPLAY… THE EROTIC ADVENTURES OF DRACULA. A NOVEL BY SANDRA HARRIS. ©

count dracula

FANGS AND FOREPLAY… THE EROTIC ADVENTURES OF DRACULA.

A NOVEL BY SANDRA HARRIS. ©

BOOK 3- CHAPTER 3.

‘Do you think she’s growing as much as she should be?’ said Anna, peering anxiously over the top of the crib.

‘Yes, Countess,’ replied Valeria confidently as she tickled the chubby-faced baby under the chin. The baby gurgled delightedly in response. ‘You worry too much. Look,’ added Valeria, holding up the baby’s bottle for the mother’s inspection. ‘She’s drunk every drop of her bottle of blood, like the good healthy little baby she is. And her sweet little fangs are already coming through. If she keeps this up, in fact, we may have to start her on solids soon.’

‘You mean like animal hearts and livers, that kind of thing?’ said Anna, only slightly comforted. As a new mother, she worried night and day about the health of her infant. Valeria nodded.

‘Try not to worry,’ she urged her mistress soothingly. ‘Baby Lucretia’s absolutely fine.’

‘Except that she’s scarcely seen her father since she was born,’ retorted Anna, unable- or unwilling- to keep the bitterness out of her voice. ‘If the baby had been a boy, he’d be in the nursery night and day, checking on the progress of his precious son and heir. As it is, he’s only set foot in here a handful of times since the birth. Lucretia won’t even recognise him as her father if this continues for much longer.’

Valeria was silent. There wasn’t much she could say to her mistress’s comments. It was certainly true enough that Count Dracula had given every impression of being disappointed that his first child with Countess Anna, formerly Lady Anna Carfax of Richmond House, was a mere girl and not the son he’d longed for her to produce. It was also true that his appearances in the nursery were so rare as to excite comment all over the household when they occurred. Then she said, intending to soothe:

‘I’m sure that your next child with the Count will be a boy, Countess.’

‘Chance would be a fine thing,’ scorned Anna, although her voice trembled. ‘He hasn’t approached me in that way since Lucretia was born. It’s as if he sees me only as a mother to Lucretia and nothing else now. I’ve lost my allure for him.

‘Well, it’s his loss,’ she added, tossing her head and her fabulous mane of long blonde hair along with it. ‘If he prefers to whore about with his handmaidens rather than attend at my bedchamber like any decent husband would, well then, he is the one who loses out.’

Valeria was not fooled for an instant by her mistress’s false bravado. She knew how much it cost Countess Anna in suffering to be overlooked night after night for the nubile young handmaidens, the young vampire women in Dracula’s care whose bodies had not been stretched and pulled about by the ordeal of childbirth.

Count Dracula had abducted Anna from her virginal bedchamber in her Victorian London home in the Autumn of 1888, when the whole of London had been up in arms about the terror that stalked the streets of Whitechapel.

Now, almost a full year later, the murderer known as Jack The Ripper still eluded the police and so did the so-called ‘person or persons unknown’ who had abducted Anna so stealthily from her home. Count Dracula was of course exceedingly well versed in hiding his tracks.

‘Perhaps you could- pardon me, my Lady- invite the Count to your bedchamber personally and- ahem- seduce him,’ suggested Valeria slyly. She knew Count Dracula inside-out. He would never refuse an invitation to engage in sexual congress with a beautiful woman, and Anna was still breath-takingly enchanting to look at. Anna looked doubtful for a moment. 

‘Do you think he would come?’ she asked Valeria, her personal handmaiden and only friend in Dracula’s isolated castle in the English countryside. Valeria nodded emphatically.

‘Oh yes, Milady,’ she replied. ‘I will go immediately now and draw a bath for you so that you can prepare for his coming.’

She clapped her hands together imperiously for the nursemaid. Instantly, one of the handmaidens appeared from behind a curtain and seated herself beside the baby’s crib. At Anna’s insistence, the infant was watched night and day. Lucretia was her first-born child and Anna doted on her.

Someone had to, Anna thought miserably as Valeria led her away to the bath-chamber. And if her father showed no interest in the child, then she, Anna, would have to compensate for his shortcomings. And compensate she would. Baby Lucretia was a precious little demon. Anna would kill for her if she had to…

FANGS AND FOREPLAY… THE EROTIC ADVENTURES OF DRACULA.

A NOVEL BY SANDRA HARRIS. ©

BOOK 3- CHAPTER 4.

In the bath-chamber, Anna disrobed before the full-length mirror, allowing one of the nude handmaidens to take each garment from her as she discarded it. She scrutinised her naked body critically in the mirror for a long time.

Her hair was long and thick and blonde and her skin was still milky-white and pampered. But was her body a little fuller than before, she wondered worriedly as she ran her hands over her breasts, belly and buttocks, or was it just her imagination? She certainly wasn’t imagining the stretch-marks that criss-crossed her heavy breasts and her belly, her belly that was softer now and neither as taut nor as flat as before the birth of her child.

‘Don’t worry about it, Countess,’ urged Valeria, knowing immediately what was on her mistress’s mind. ‘You can’t expect to have a baby and remain completely unchanged. It suits you to be a little fuller of figure since Lucretia. It makes you look even more womanly and feminine than before, and you know that that’s what the Count appreciates in a woman.’

Anna wasn’t convinced. The Count had not made love to her since she’d been pregnant with Lucretia. He hadn’t even come to her bed-chamber to give her her customary nightly whippings and spankings. She dearly missed his strict discipline.

Valeria had attempted to take the Count’s place by wielding the whip herself over Anna’s bare back, buttocks and thighs but Anna craved the Count’s touch most of all. Perhaps tonight would be the night that their loving discipline sessions resumed. She would certainly do her utmost to see to it that he was attracted to her tonight, so attracted that he could not refuse her attentions.

‘I want Camille to do my hair and see to my cosmetics,’ ordered Anna as, stark naked, she descended the three steps down into the sunken bath-tub. ‘She has a magical touch when it comes to these things.’

‘Yes, my Lady,’ murmured Valeria as she climbed down into the bath-tub alongside her mistress. ‘I will bring her to you myself after your bath.’

Valeria took the fragranced soap and soft sponge being held out to her by one of the nude handmaidens in attendance and began to wash Anna’s bare body, starting with her large, milky-white breasts and working her way down in sweeping circular motions towards the triangle of soft fuzzy blonde hair between her thighs.

Anna stood quietly while Valeria bathed her, her thoughts miles away. She was wondering where her Master was now, and in whose bed he was partaking of the sexual congress which he seemed to need more frequently than mortal men did.

Idly, she felt Valeria’s sponge caress her bare buttocks, the twin white globes that the Count had previously so enjoyed spanking and whipping.

At the thought of a good hard spanking on her unprotected buttocks from Count Dracula, her breath quickened and she felt a stirring between her legs, where her secret place was. When Dracula touched her there, she forgot everything she’d ever known about everything and just gave herself up to him utterly. The Last Trumpet could sound to herald the coming of The Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse and she wouldn’t even hear it.

When Valeria placed the sponge between her mistress’s thighs, Anna’s response was instantaneous. She moaned and gripped Valeria’s hand hard, so that each of them held onto the sponge that moved back and forth between Anna’s thighs.

‘I want to come, Valeria,’ Anna moaned, closing her thighs together urgently and trapping Valeria’s hand between them. ‘I need to come. Help me.’

Valeria smiled and obligingly dropped the sponge into the foamy scented water, using her clever fingers to bring her mistress to orgasm as she had done so many times before. Anna caressed her own and Valeria’s bare soapy breasts as her climax overtook her. She was almost crying with pleasure, mixed with a desolate anguish that it wasn’t her husband and Master who was making her feel that way.

‘I want the Count to do this to me tonight,’ she whispered as the last contractions of her orgasm faded away and left her clinging to Valeria, naked and spent.

‘He will, I promise you,’ replied Valeria, fervently hoping that she would be proven right. ‘I will make sure that he receives the message to come to your bedchamber. Once he is there, my Lady, the rest is up to you…’

AUTHOR BIOGRAPHY OF SANDRA HARRIS.

Sandra Harris is a Dublin-based novelist, film blogger and movie reviewer. She has studied Creative Writing and Film-Making. She has published a number of e-books on the following topics: horror film reviews, multi-genre film reviews, womens’ fiction, erotic fiction, erotic horror fiction and erotic poetry. Several new books are currently in the pipeline. You can browse or buy any of Sandra’s books by following the link below straight to her Amazon Author Page:

http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B015GDE5RO

You can contact Sandra at:

https://www.facebook.com/SandraHarrisPureFilthPoetry

https://sandrafirstruleoffilmclubharris.wordpress.com

http://sexysandieblog.wordpress.com

http://serenaharker.wordpress.com

sandrasandraharris@gmail.com

https://twitter.com/SandraAuthor

FANGS AND FOREPLAY… THE EROTIC ADVENTURES OF DRACULA. A NOVEL BY SANDRA HARRIS. ©

dracula unknown girl

FANGS AND FOREPLAY… THE EROTIC ADVENTURES OF DRACULA.

A NOVEL BY SANDRA HARRIS. ©

BOOK 3- CHAPTER 2.

Count Dracula languorously opened one heavy-lidded dark eye and groaned. He hadn’t meant to sleep so long after his sexual congress with Glamara, who still slumbered beside him, her long hair fanned out elegantly over the pillows.

Count Dracula considered waking her to take care of the impressive tumescence that habitually accompanied his waking, then thought better of it. He had another idea, an altogether more pleasing idea.

He had a little something- or somebody- tucked away in a hidden corner of the castle that he’d been keeping for a rainy day, a little prize that no-one knew about but Igor the hump-backed gatekeeper. Igor was both the gatekeeper of the castle and the keeper of some- not all- but some of the Count’s darkest secrets. Igor knew where the bodies were buried, but Igor would never tell.

Count Dracula dressed swiftly and left the bedchamber, leaving Glamara stretched out naked on top of the covers, the shameless whore. She had her uses in the bedroom, but she lacked that certain something, the razor-sharpness of Gloria, his erstwhile favourite handmaiden. But Gloria had betrayed him, and she’d suffered the ultimate penalty as a result, the penalty of being cast away from him.

Thoughts of the impending visit from his cousin Carmilla Karnstein swirled through his mind as he made his way to the castle dungeons. There were rooms there where he could secrete things and no-one but Igor would know about it, and sometimes not even Igor.

He strode through the damp mouldy corridors, caring nothing for the rats who scurried away from him in droves or for the all-consuming darkness. He loved the darkness. He lived for the darkness. He was at home in it.

He stopped at one of the heavy iron doors and unlocked it with his master key, which opened the doors of every room in the castle. The woman was sitting up in bed, her eyes wide with fright at the sound of his approach.

She was as beautiful as the Count remembered her. It had been some days since he’d abducted her, being careful to choose a village several towns away, but her curves were as luscious and her eyes as lustrous as he remembered them.

This was even after a few days in his castle dungeon with no-one for company but Igor when he brought her her food and drink, and Igor knew better than to engage one of the Count’s captives in conversation.

‘What is your name, child?’ the Count said softly as he approached the bed and sat down beside her. ‘And what is your age?’

Trembling, a lock of her long brown hair falling over one eye, she replied:

‘Emily, Sir. I’m twenty years of age. P-p-please, Sir,’ she added, her voice shaking, ‘why am I here?’

‘You are here because I desire you to be,’ replied the Count, reaching out a hand to casually begin unbuttoning her brown woollen dress. His breath quickened at the sight of her perfect white breasts, heaving with emotion in her form-fitting but flimsy white under-slip.

‘Aren’t you a pretty little thing?’ the Count murmured as he freed her magnificent breasts from their confines and began to stroke them.

Her nipples immediately hardened and he gently pushed the erstwhile peasant girl back against the pillows, the better to suck on her succulent and eager nipples. Little Emily was a peasant girl no longer. She was the Count’s slave now, his sex slave, and she would live for only as long as he wished it.

‘If you please, Sir,’ whispered Emily, her resistance to him melting away under the power of his intense stare the way all women melted before the Count, ‘I am a virgin. No man has known me before.’

Count Dracula quirked one elegant eyebrow in amusement.

‘Well, well. So much the better,’ he said, lifting her frock to reveal only the thinnest of undergarments.

He stroked her feminine parts through the undergarments and felt them moistening and softening even before he touched her bare skin. With one swift movement he ripped the undergarments from her body and spread her legs apart.

His own tumescence was painfully obvious now and needed urgent relief. He adjusted his clothing and was inside her within seconds. She moaned in part pleasure, part pain and gave herself up to him completely, as the Count had known she would.

‘Good girl, Emily,’ he murmured as he felt his climax building. ‘You have pleased the Count, your Master. I may keep you alive for a while yet…’

AUTHOR BIOGRAPHY OF SANDRA HARRIS.

Sandra Harris is a Dublin-based novelist, film blogger and movie reviewer. She has studied Creative Writing and Film-Making. She has published a number of e-books on the following topics: horror film reviews, multi-genre film reviews, womens’ fiction, erotic fiction, erotic horror fiction and erotic poetry. Several new books are currently in the pipeline. You can browse or buy any of Sandra’s books by following the link below straight to her Amazon Author Page:

http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B015GDE5RO

You can contact Sandra at:

https://www.facebook.com/SandraHarrisPureFilthPoetry

https://sandrafirstruleoffilmclubharris.wordpress.com

http://sexysandieblog.wordpress.com

http://serenaharker.wordpress.com

sandrasandraharris@gmail.com

https://twitter.com/SandraAuthor

FANGS AND FOREPLAY… THE EROTIC ADVENTURES OF DRACULA. A NOVEL BY SANDRA HARRIS. ©

drac_1513745c

FANGS AND FOREPLAY… THE EROTIC ADVENTURES OF DRACULA.

A NOVEL BY SANDRA HARRIS. ©

BOOK 3- CHAPTER 1.

‘Goddamn it to Hell and back…!’

Count Dracula threw the letter away from him with an exclamation of disgust and lay back against the pillows, throwing one bare arm across his eyes.

‘What is it, Master? What has angered you?’ said Glamara, his beautiful companion. She’d jumped with alarm when the Count had sworn so loudly. He rarely if ever used the ‘G’ word, and when he did it was a sure sign that something serious was amiss.

She lay naked beside him in the big bed in his private bedroom, the one to which no nude handmaiden dared enter without the Count’s express permission. Her long glossy black hair lay fanned out most flatteringly on the pillows and the moonlight filtering through the windows cast an unearthly sheen across her milk-white naked body. Glamara was a stunningly beautiful vampire woman and she was well aware of this pleasing fact.

They had just finished making love for the third time that night when someone, Igor the Gatekeeper probably, had pushed the letter, the missive that had so aroused the Count’s anger, under the bedroom door. Now Glamara was agog with an altogether feminine curiosity.

‘My bloody cousin, Carmilla Karnstein, intends coming here from Romania for an extended visit,’ groaned the Count, so aggravated that he’d forgotten that he rarely if ever discussed his family or his personal business with his nude handmaidens, even special ones like Glamara.

‘Your cousin?’ exclaimed Glamara, fascinated. ‘The Countess Karnstein from Transylvania? She’s never coming here, to Birney Castle?’

The Count nodded, the lines around his mouth and eyes deepening with tension.

‘Apparently,’ he replied coldly. ‘The over-sexed minx will find little to amuse her here in the heart of the English countryside, but that doesn’t mean that she won’t go looking. The meddlesome bitch will cause me no end of trouble. I’m trying to keep a low profile here in the castle, not announce my private business to the entire bloody countryside.’

‘Could you not write back and tell her not to come?’ suggested Glamara helpfully, thrilled for once to be taken into the Count’s confidence. The Count shook his head.

‘No,’ he answered gloomily. ‘She is already en route, the sex-crazed hussy. I will have to inform my wife of her impending arrival and tell her to make ready a bedchamber.’

The Count sighed hugely. Anna would not be happy to hear this particular news. She was always accusing him of allowing distractions to keep him away from her and their newborn child as it was. The news of Carmilla’s intended visit would not go down well.

‘Suck me, wench,’ he ordered Glamara now, eager to push all thoughts of Carmilla from his mind. Glamara immediately obliged by taking his semi-erect member in her hands and putting it reverently between her luscious red lips.

She had the lips of a whore, the Count had always thought. She would have made a fortune on the streets of Whitechapel if such had been her lot in life. Count Dracula put his hands comfortably behind his head and tried to relax as Glamara continued her expert ministrations.

‘Would you like me to swallow, Master?’ Glamara asked him coyly now, fluttering her long silky eyelashes at him, her dark eyes limpid and huge as she looked up at him from her position lower down on the bed.

‘You know damned well I want you to swallow, you sly little bitch,’ he answered, feeling himself almost overtaken by the familiar tumultuousness in his groin. ‘Swallow it all, if you know what’s good for you.’

‘Very good, Master,’ murmured Glamara with a saucy glint in her eye. She continued to fondle his swollen balls the way she knew he liked as she milked his long thick cock of its creamy issue, while the Count groaned his satisfaction loudly from somewhere above her.

His eyes were shut as he climaxed powerfully. He was disturbed to find that the face that hovered before his closed eyes at the moment of his climax was not Anna’s, nor yet Glamara’s, but his wicked cousin Carmilla’s…

AUTHOR BIOGRAPHY OF SANDRA HARRIS.

Sandra Harris is a Dublin-based novelist, film blogger and movie reviewer. She has studied Creative Writing and Film-Making. She has published a number of e-books on the following topics: horror film reviews, multi-genre film reviews, womens’ fiction, erotic fiction, erotic horror fiction and erotic poetry. Several new books are currently in the pipeline. You can browse or buy any of Sandra’s books by following the link below straight to her Amazon Author Page:

http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B015GDE5RO

You can contact Sandra at:

https://www.facebook.com/SandraHarrisPureFilthPoetry

https://sandrafirstruleoffilmclubharris.wordpress.com

http://sexysandieblog.wordpress.com

http://serenaharker.wordpress.com

sandrasandraharris@gmail.com

https://twitter.com/SandraAuthor

SINISTER HOUSE/HAUNTING OF CRESTVIEW ACADEMY: A GRISLY DOUBLE BILL OF HORROR FILM REVIEWS BY SANDRA HARRIS. ©

 crestview academySINISTER HOUSE/HAUNTING OF CRESTVIEW HIGH: A DOUBLE BILL OF GRISLY HORROR FILM REVIEWS BY SANDRA HARRIS. ©

SINISTER HOUSE aka HOUSE OF BAD. (2013) WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY JIM TOWNS. STARRING HEATHER L. TYLER, SADIE KATZ AND CHERYL SANDS.

HAUNTING OF CRESTVIEW ACADEMY aka BAD KIDS GO TO HELL. (2012) WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY MATTHEW SPRADLIN. STARRING CAMERON DEANE STEWART, ALI FAULKNER, AUGIE DUKE, AMANDA ALCH, ROGER EDWARDS, MARC DONATO AND JUDD NELSON (FROM ‘THE BREAKFAST CLUB’).

Both of these horror films deal with small groups of people who, for one reason or another, are being confined to barracks, as it were, for certain periods of time. They’re each good gruesome fun to watch, although I’m more inclined to favour SINISTER HOUSE, otherwise known as HOUSE OF BAD.

That’s where we’ll start, with the film that ‘GRABS YOU AND DOESN’T LET YOU GO!,’ according to one of its other reviews. I couldn’t agree more, as it happens. I was glued to this one from start to finish. Let me see if I can explain to you guys exactly why…

Three attractive American sisters, Teig, Sirah and Lily, all hole up in the abandoned old childhood home of Teig and Sirah for a month, or at least that’s the plan, anyway. They’ve stolen a massive stash of drugs from Sirah’s boyfriend Tommy, a drug dealer and pimp. Hence the need for a complete getaway.

They’re going to lay low for a month and then sell the drugs off to a contact of Teig’s. What’s that quote from Robbie Burns? ‘The best-laid plans of mice and men gang oft a-gley…?’ Yeah, what he said. You’d better believe that the sisters’ plans will be ganging a-gley all over the bleedin’ shop.

The idea is that the money from the sale of the drugs will be enough to set the sisters up in a new life, something that each of the women desperately need. Sirah’s abusive boyfriend Tommy has had her dancing topless in the clubs.

Teig, the eldest- and toughest- sister, is an ex-con who trusts no-one, not even her own sisters. Lily, their young step-sister from their father’s bit-on-the-side, is an absolute stunner looks-wise but she just can’t keep her pretty little snout out of the heroin trough. And she’s going to be holed up for a month with a suitcase stuffed full of drugs? Good luck with that…!

There are problems right from the start. Lily’s got to go cold turkey, for one thing. As it’s a film and not real life, we don’t really see her going through the horrible traumas that a person coming off the ‘junk’ for realsies would be forced to endure.

Sirah, the weakest of the three sisters, actually misses her abusive pimp and can’t keep her busy fingers from texting him on the phone she solemnly promised her sisters not to use. The seriously on-edge Teig will kill her if she finds out.  She’ll go through her for a feckin’ short-cut, as we say here in Oireland.

It’s not just the physical stuff that’s a problem, either. Their old childhood home is filled with bad memories and evil spirits, dating back to the time when something terrible happened between Teig and Sirah’s constantly warring parents back when the two girls were kids.

Teig and Sirah are still afraid to go upstairs and down into the cellar. Lily demands to know why. The other two sisters think she’s better off not knowing. If you’ve seen this excellent horror movie, you’ll probably think the same. Oh, and there are lovely bare boobies on show here too, and that’s always a big plus…!

HAUNTING OF CRESTVIEW HIGH is a terrible film really, but as I watched it with a friend, we had great fun with it together. If I’d been watching it alone with no-one to have a laugh with, I’d have been bored rigid and bitterly disappointed with the lack of any real scares.

It’s about a bunch of really awful American high school kids in their last year of school, a school for mostly super-rich snobs like the children of politicians or lawyers.

A bunch of six of these privileged little horrors all find themselves in an eight-hour detention one day. Their teacher falls mysteriously ill and goes off, locking the posh brats into the school library for the whole day.  The Health and Safety people will have a f**king heart attack when they hear about this gross act of negligence on the teacher’s part.

It’s a loving homage to the hit ‘Eighties movie THE BREAKFAST CLUB, and Judd Nelson actually plays the headmaster in this snobby upper-class school, which will delight any fans of the old movie. There’s actually another film doing the rounds called ‘DETENTION,’ which has the super-cool tagline ‘THE BREAKFAST CLUB MEETS THE GRUDGE…!,’ so I must check that out if I get the chance.

Anyway, the six brats involved in this all-day incarceration are mostly the kids of rich parents who’ve committed foul play against an old native American chap called Jacob Rainwater. They’ve shoved him off his land in order to build the school a huge fancy library.

In return, the school will guarantee that their snotty, ill-bred brats will all graduate on time and with the honours they need to get into their big fancy colleges. It’s well for some…

The spirits aren’t happy, however, even if the kids’ parents are. Some strange paranormal-type happenings in the library on Detention Day have the snotty little poshos running scared. And the situation is not without its element of human conspiracy, either, but I ain’t telling. Let it be a surprise-slash-reward for anyone who actually sits through the whole cringingly bad film…!

So there you have it, guys. Another two-for-the-price-of-one horror film review from your friendly neighbourhood movie critic. The first film is terrific and utterly watchable. It’d be a great story even without the horror, if you know what I mean.

The second film, well, still watch it by all means if it comes your way. Just don’t expect too much from it, that’s all. Except boobies. There are boobies in it so you can expect those. Boobies (like diamonds in the ‘Going to Africa’ episode of THE SIMPSONS!) will make everything all right. Boobies…! Boobies…! Boobies…!

AUTHOR BIOGRAPHY OF SANDRA HARRIS.

Sandra Harris is a Dublin-based novelist, film blogger and movie reviewer. She has studied Creative Writing and Film-Making. She has published a number of e-books on the following topics: horror film reviews, multi-genre film reviews, womens’ fiction, erotic fiction, erotic horror fiction and erotic poetry. Several new books are currently in the pipeline. You can browse or buy any of Sandra’s books by following the link below straight to her Amazon Author Page:

http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B015GDE5RO

You can contact Sandra at:

https://www.facebook.com/SandraHarrisPureFilthPoetry

https://sandrafirstruleoffilmclubharris.wordpress.com

http://sexysandieblog.wordpress.com

http://serenaharker.wordpress.com

sandrasandraharris@gmail.com

https://twitter.com/SandraAuthor

THE LAST EXORCISM/THE HAUNTING OF BATES HOTEL: A DOUBLE BILL OF GRISLY HORROR FILM REVIEWS BY SANDRA HARRIS. ©

LastExorcismInterviewLeadTHE LAST EXORCISM and THE HAUNTING OF BATES HOTEL: A DOUBLE BILL OF GRISLY HORROR FILM REVIEWS BY SANDRA HARRIS. ©

THE LAST EXORCISM. (2010) DIRECTED BY DANIEL STAMM. PRODUCED BY ELI ROTH. STARRING PATRICK FABIAN, ASHLEY BELL, CALEB LANDRY JONES AND LOUIS HERTHUM.

THE HAUNTING OF BATES HOTEL. (2012) DIRECTED BY BYRON TURK. STARRING JEAN LOUISE O’SULLIVAN, DANTE ZUCCA AND ZACHARY FLETCHER.

I bought both of these films to watch over the recent Saint Patrick’s Day holiday weekend here in Oireland, hence the double review today. While I always enjoy watching horror that’s new to me, however ropey, I must confess that I found one of these films to be possibly the worst horror film I’ve ever seen, while the other one baffled me at first but grew to be a strong finisher. Want to know which one is which? Stay tuned and I promise to tell all…!

Well, here I am telling all as promised, haha. I’ll start with THE HAUNTING OF BATES HOTEL. Being as I am a lifelong fan of Alfred Hitchcock’s legendary horror film PSYCHO  (1960) and the book by Robert Bloch from which it derived, I admit I bought this film for the PSYCHO connection and also for the cover of the DVD box.

The cover features a building not unlike the home that Norman Bates shared with his ‘Mother.’ In an upstairs window, a woman is clearly silhouetted holding a knife. To my eternal disgust, THE HAUNTING OF BATES MOTEL has about as much to do with PSYCHO as GLENGARRY GLEN ROSS has to do with crocheting and needlework. I was deeply, deeply disappointed.

The film is set in an existing real-life horror attraction called the Bates Motel and Haunted Hayride. It’s situated in rural Pennsylvania on a place called Arasapha Farm and television star Bam Margera is seen advertising the Halloween attraction for real at the film’s outset.

In the film, a beautiful young woman called Agnes Rickover goes to work at this attraction to try to recover from a trauma she experienced there a year ago, namely the death of her best friend Lily (an employee of the attraction’s) who burned horribly on the Haunted Hayride.

People start dying ‘mysteriously’ around the Park pretty much on Agnes’s first shift. She determines to get to the bottom of both Lily’s death and the deaths of the other Park employees also. She enlists the aid of her cute but relectant writer friend Clyde to do this. I don’t want to give too much of the lame ‘plot’ away so I’ll just say this. The ‘who’ is pretty obvious. The ‘why’ is never revealed. I want my tenner back.

THE LAST EXORCISM is much more promising and worthwhile although, again, the DVD box features a scene that’s not even in the movie. Sigh. That always annoys me, even though it happens fairly frequently. At least the film inside was worth the ninety or so minutes of my life.

The Reverend Cotton Marcus, hailing from Baton Rouge, Louisiana and as smug and self-satisfied a character as you’ll find in any film, has been performing exorcisms since he was knee-high to a grasshopper. In this ‘found footage’ supernatural horror film, he admits freely to the public, through a documentary he’s allowing to be filmed about him, that he no longer believes in demons.

Say what? That’s right, folks. A medical issue caused him to lose his faith, but he still continues to perform fake exorcisms as a sort of placebo for the people who think they’re possessed by the devil. In other words, if they think he’s curing ’em, he really is curing ’em, if you follow me, It’s purely the placebo effect but, if it works, isn’t he doing them a favour rather than a disservice…?

Anyway, in this ‘documentary,’ he reveals all the tricks of his trade, such as phoney demon noises and making objects move and fall over by using wires. If this was a real documentary, it’d be hard not to be utterly sickened and disgusted by the tricks being played upon individuals who genuinely believe that they’re possessed by the devil. Still, it’s just a film. Isn’t it…?

Cotton’s camera crew follow him to the Sweetzer farm, where the Dad of the family tells them that he thinks his sixteen-year-old daughter Nell is possessed by a demon. Against the wishes of Nell’s brother Caleb, Cotton, filmed by his crew of Iris and Danny, duly performs a phoney exorcism on the pleasant and obliging young girl.

A few phoney demon noises later and Bob’s your Uncle, or so Cotton thinks. Imagine his shock when he’s confronted by evidence of a genuine possesion taking place inside the body and soul of the home-schooled young lady. Things take a distinctly creepy turn as Cotton and his crew discover that they’ve bitten off way more than they can chew with Cotton’s so-called ‘LAST EXORCISM…’

I was scared once or twice by this film, which is a good sign, although of course by now I know what to expect from exorcism films. Projectile vomiting or spewing, heads and bodies twisting to unnatural angles and girls with long dark hair and white nightdresses scuttling up walls and speaking in tongues.

It’s always the same, isn’t it, and this film is no different, although it’s still good. Show me a possession film where the possessed person is a balding, middle-aged businessman with a paunch and a wart on his face and I’ll show you a possession film with a difference. Don’t think it’s gonna happen, though. Not while girls with long dark hair and white nighties are still selling horror flicks.

A rather Dennis Wheatley-esque ending, which I quite enjoyed, completes the picture. I’d definitely recommend giving this one a watch. Not so, sadly, in the case of THE HAUNTING OF BATES MOTEL. Use it to prop up a wonky table, by all means, but that’s about all it’s good for. I just hope and pray that Alfred Hitchcock hasn’t seen it on the flatscreen television in the elegant and comfortable lounge of the afterlife. He’d certainly be turning in his grave.

AUTHOR BIOGRAPHY OF SANDRA HARRIS.

Sandra Harris is a Dublin-based novelist, film blogger and movie reviewer. She has studied Creative Writing and Film-Making. She has published a number of e-books on the following topics: horror film reviews, multi-genre film reviews, womens’ fiction, erotic fiction, erotic horror fiction and erotic poetry. Several new books are currently in the pipeline. You can browse or buy any of Sandra’s books by following the link below straight to her Amazon Author Page:

http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B015GDE5RO

You can contact Sandra at:

https://www.facebook.com/SandraHarrisPureFilthPoetry

https://sandrafirstruleoffilmclubharris.wordpress.com

http://sexysandieblog.wordpress.com

http://serenaharker.wordpress.com

sandrasandraharris@gmail.com

https://twitter.com/SandraAuthor

RITES OF SPRING/THE EXORCISM OF EMILY ROSE: A DOUBLE BILL OF HORROR FILM REVIEWS BY SANDRA HARRIS.

emily-roseRITES OF SPRING/THE EXORCISM OF EMILY ROSE: A TERRIFYING DOUBLE BILL OF SUPERNATURAL HORROR FILM REVIEWS BY SANDRA HARRIS. ©

RITES OF SPRING. (2011) DIRECTED BY PADRAIG REYNOLDS. STARRING A.J. BOWEN, KATHERINE RANDOLPH, ANESSA RAMSEY, MARCO ST. JOHN AND JEFF NATIONS.

THE EXORCISM OF EMILY ROSE. (2006) DIRECTED BY SCOTT DERRICKSON. STARRING LAURA LINNEY, TOM WILKINSON AND JENNIFER CARPENTER.

This is a pairing of horror films which I always associate with each other because I first watched them at around the same time. They’re both top-notch horror films which I re-visit every year, and always one after the other, usually RITES OF SPRING followed by EMILY ROSE.

Let’s take a closer look at them, starting, appropriately enough, with RITES OF SPRING. Although you wouldn’t think it with the cold, the wind and the sleet, it is in fact Spring, a time for snowdrops and daffodils, green shoots and… the most hideous of human sacrifices…

There are two storylines running concurrently in this American horror movie directed by an Irishman, RITES OF SPRING. Firstly, we have a small group of criminals who are planning to kidnap a rich man’s little daughter in order to ransom her for the pay-off of a lifetime.

The kidnapping goes to plan up to a point, but blood is shed during the home invasion and the kidnappers are forced to bring along an extra hostage they hadn’t bargained on. They bring both their hostages to an old abandoned school miles from anywhere and wait for the pay-off to arrive…

The other storyline is bloody terrifying. Two attractive young women are abducted by a strange old man. They wake up to find themselves suspended from hooks in an old dump of a shed out in the countryside somewhere.

The old man keeps popping in to cut them with knives or cut their clothing off their trembling bodies. He keeps asking them if they’re ‘clean’ but, just in case they’re not, he’s got a bucket of water and a bristly sponge handy. Eeeep…!

As if that wasn’t scary enough, the viewers get the distinct impression that a human sacrifice of some kind is just around the corner. And who- or what- is the old man keeping prisoner underneath the locked trapdoor? And what does the man need the girls’ blood for?

When the two storylines spectacularly collide, a chase begins that always puts me in mind of THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE and SWITCHBLADE ROMANCE, among others. The folk horror element will probably remind you somewhat of THE WICKER MAN.

The chase in the second half of the film is tense with some truly shocking moments. Even the cover of the DVD box is super-sexy, picturing a naked woman suspended from a rope and silhouetted against the night sky while in the background looms a dilapidated old barn.

THE EXORCISM OF EMILY ROSE is based on true events which, when I researched ’em briefly online, scared the living daylights out of me. The film is part courtroom drama and part horror, the horror being told in terrifying flashbacks. Though it’s naturally not a patch on William Friedkin’s THE EXORCIST, the Mammy and Daddy of exorcism films, it’s still a brilliant and really watchable horror story.

Laura Linney plays Erin Bruner, a high-flying barrister whose job it is to defend a priest called Father Richard Moore, who’s played by wonderful English actor Tom Wilkinson (THE FULL MONTY, IN THE BEDROOM).

He’s accused of bringing about the death through negligence of a beautiful young woman with everything to live for called Emily Rose. How, you might ask, did he do this? As we’re told in flash-backs, he performed an exorcism on the girl with the full consent of her worried parents because she’d exhibited signs of demonic possession. These included contortions of her body, speaking in strange languages and seeing horrible visions of demonic faces, among other things.

The lawyers prosecuting poor old Father Moore are maintaining that the girl was anorexic and that she had epilepsy coupled with psychosis. These conditions, they claim, neatly cover all of Emily’s symptoms. Erin Bruner, on the other hand, attempts to convince the sceptical court of the existence of demonic possession, because that’s what Father Moore and Emily’s devastated parents truly believe was the root of Emily’s terrifying experiences.

The scenes in which Emily first notices the demonic influences around her are really scary. So are the ones in which Father Moore and Erin Bruner both feel the demonic presence close by in the dead of night (at 3am, to be precise, the REAL witching hour) and the ones where the priest bravely attempts to rid the girl of the evil spirits that plague her.

Emily’s bodily contortions are super-freaky and all real and not computerised, from what I can make out. They’ll put the willies up you big-time. I could have done without the gold initialled locket in the snow and maybe even the stigmata as well, but otherwise, this is a really scary film that you shouldn’t watch just before going to bed because it’ll give you the worst nightmares you’ve ever had.

But do watch it if you can. Even if you think that exorcisms and demonic possession are just a load of old hogwash from the movies, there are plenty of people who don’t agree. Even if you’re determined to remain a hardened sceptic, at least try to keep an open mind. After all, there are more things in Heaven and Earth and so on, aren’t there…?

AUTHOR BIOGRAPHY OF SANDRA HARRIS.

Sandra Harris is a Dublin-based novelist, film blogger and movie reviewer. She has studied Creative Writing and Film-Making. She has published a number of e-books on the following topics: horror film reviews, multi-genre film reviews, womens’ fiction, erotic fiction, erotic horror fiction and erotic poetry. Several new books are currently in the pipeline. You can browse or buy any of Sandra’s books by following the link below straight to her Amazon Author Page:

http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B015GDE5RO

You can contact Sandra at:

https://www.facebook.com/SandraHarrisPureFilthPoetry

https://sandrafirstruleoffilmclubharris.wordpress.com

http://sexysandieblog.wordpress.com

http://serenaharker.wordpress.com

sandrasandraharris@gmail.com

https://twitter.com/SandraAuthor

AN AMERICAN HAUNTING/THE HAUNTING IN CONNECTICUT: A DOUBLE BILL OF GRISLY HORROR FILM REVIEWS BY SANDRA HARRIS. ©

betsy

AN AMERICAN HAUNTING/THE HAUNTING IN CONNECTICUT: A DOUBLE BILL OF GRISLY HORROR FILM REVIEWS BY SANDRA HARRIS. ©

AN AMERICAN HAUNTING. (2005) BASED ON THE BOOK ‘THE BELL WITCH: AN AMERICAN HAUNTING’ BY BRENT MONAHAN. DIRECTED/PRODUCED/SCREENPLAY BY COURTNEY SOLOMON. STARRING DONALD SUTHERLAND, SISSY SPACEK, JAMES D’ARCY AND RACHEL HURD-WOOD.

THE HAUNTING IN CONNECTICUT. (2009) DIRECTED BY PETER CORNWELL. STARRING VIRGINIA MADSEN, MARTIN DONOVAN, KYLE GALLNER, AMANDA CREW AND ELIAS KOTEAS.

I’m lumping these two supernatural horror films in together for a couple of reasons. One, I bought ’em on the same day and watched ’em back-to-back so they’re always linked in my mind. Two, I think they actually have quite a lot in common. Each loosely based on true events (Are there any words more thrilling to the horror film viewer than ‘Based on a true story…?’), they both tell of families in crisis being plagued by supernatural forces they can neither see nor understand.

In ‘THE HAUNTING IN CONNECTICUT,’ it’s not hard for the viewer to see where the paranormal problem is oozing from. It’s 1987 and the Campbell family have just moved into a magnificent old country house that used to be a funeral home. What’s more, necromancy and maybe even necrophilia went on in the basement room where the corpses were stored and where the oldest son of the Campbell household is now sleeping. Zoiks, Scoob…!

The hard-done-by and mistreated corpses are restless. They pick on the teenaged boy of the family, Matt, because he’s sick with cancer and is closer to ‘the other side’ than the rest of the family. Matt is terrorised with frightening visions of the ghostly corpses, to the point where he calls in a friend from the cancer ward, a priest, who just so happens to be skilled in the art of exorcism.

What they find out about the hostile spirits in the house scares the living daylights out of both man and boy, but they’ve gotta man up and face these spirits down if they want to stay alive. The scares are mostly of the ‘jump’ variety and there’s a lack of any real horror atmosphere but I still always enjoy the film when I see it.

Virginia Madsen, the beautiful blonde sister of Michael (FREE WILLY and RESERVOIR DOGS), is brilliant as the Mum who’ll do anything to keep her son alive. I love the scene where the drunken Dad angrily removes all the lightbulbs in the house, blissfully unaware that the gaff is haunted to buggery. The cancer scenes involving Matt are hard to watch and were probably the thing I liked least about this otherwise interesting foray into the supernatural.

In AN AMERICAN HAUNTING, which I actually think I like a bit better, we’re back in Ye Oldey Times, early nineteenth century ‘Murica to be exact. John and Lucy Bell’s daughter Betsy, a bewitching little enchantress if ever there was one, is being beleaguered (What a smasher of a word!) by an unseen force that targets only her, Betsy. Why Betsy? Why Betsy, indeed…

John, her father, thinks that the problem is Kate Batts, a woman he’s offended and who just so happens to have a reputation for indulging in the odd bout of witchcraft, but not everyone’s as certain as John is. The episodes of haunting are quite chilling to witness, as Betsy is slapped, dragged around the place, flung into walls and basically physically and emotionally tortured by the unseen force. If only you could, like, hire one of these spiteful entities to bully the bejeesus out of your enemies, haha.

Donald Sutherland and Sissy Spacek are, of course, horror royalty, having starred in Nicolas Roeg’s DON’T LOOK NOW and Stephen King’s CARRIE (the original one) respectively. I couldn’t fault either of ’em in anything they star in.

The daughter Betsy is the spitting image of Rosie Webster from CORONATION STREET, which is funny because that tarty little trollop had an affair with her teacher as well, just like Betsy whose much older teacher is madly in love with her, the filthy pervert…! Still, it was Ye Olden Days. Anything went back then, apparently…

There’s a twist at the end of this movie which I love. As I said, it’s probably the film I prefer out of the two. They’re both well worth watching, though, maybe in a kind of marathon situation. Don’t watch it down in the basement though. Not under any circumstances. I know what your house used to be before you moved in…

AUTHOR BIOGRAPHY OF SANDRA HARRIS.

Sandra Harris is a Dublin-based novelist, film blogger and movie reviewer. She has studied Creative Writing and Film-Making. She has published a number of e-books on the following topics: horror film reviews, multi-genre film reviews, womens’ fiction, erotic fiction, erotic horror fiction and erotic poetry. Several new books are currently in the pipeline. You can browse or buy any of Sandra’s books by following the link below straight to her Amazon Author Page:

http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B015GDE5RO

You can contact Sandra at:

https://www.facebook.com/SandraHarrisPureFilthPoetry

https://sandrafirstruleoffilmclubharris.wordpress.com

http://sexysandieblog.wordpress.com

http://serenaharker.wordpress.com

sandrasandraharris@gmail.com

https://twitter.com/SandraAuthor