TWINS OF EVIL. (1971) BASED ON THE WRITINGS OF SHERIDAN LE FANU. DIRECTED BY JOHN HOUGH FOR HAMMER FILM PRODUCTIONS. STARRING PETER CUSHING, MARY COLLINSON, MADELEINE COLLINSON, KATHLEEN BYRON AND DAMIEN THOMAS. REVIEW BY SANDRA HARRIS. ©
Oh dear oh dear oh dear. There are some mad doings a-transpirin’ in Hammer’s fictional town of Karnstein in Central Europe in Ye Olden Times. Religious nut Peter Cushing and his pals are all dressed up in Puritan clobber, complete with big buckle-y hats and boots and whatnot, they’re calling themselves The Brotherhood, and you’ll never guess what they’re doing.
Yep folks, hard as it is to believe, they’re riding round the countryside rounding up all the beautiful busty young women they can find and burning ’em at the stake as witches. They’ve burned so many hotties by the time we come in that, at this rate, they’re gonna end up shagging each other or whatever livestock they can get their mitts on because there won’t be any Sheilas left in Karnstein. It’s sad but true.
Meanwhile Peter Cushing, aka grim and grumpy old Gustav Weil in the film, has other problems beside chasing down vulnerable young women on his horse and hauling ’em kicking and screaming off to the stake. (It’s a tough job but someone’s gotta do it…!)He has two particular problems, to be precise.
For one thing, his two naughty identical twin nieces, Frieda and Maria, have come from Venice to live with him and his missus and they’re causing him no end of grief with their sexy godless ways. Flaunting their lovely bodies in front of the local villagers and giving men the eye and suchlike. Uncle Gustav is fit to be tied with it all.
And secondly, the wicked Count Karnstein, the wealthy occupant of the nearby Karnstein Castle, is taking great pleasure out of flaunting his disregard for morals and ethics and carnal forebearance (Those would make terrific song lyrics, wouldn’t they? Or have THE SIMPSONS beaten us to it…?) in Gustav’s cheerless face. Uncle Gustav wants nothing more than to rid the town of the fornicating Count, who looks a bit like a cross between Barry Manilow and Frank Langella’s DRACULA.
When it looks like the sexy Count, who also just so happens to be a vampire, has gotten his sharp pointy fangs into Frieda, the naughtier of the twins, it looks like all Uncle Gustav’s worst fears have been realised. Dontcha just hate it when that happens…?
Can Uncle Gustav be a match for the evil Count and rid the town of Karnstein of the plague of vampirism that, well, plagues it? Can Frieda be wrested away from the Count’s clutches? And will either of the twins get nekkid at any point? All these and other questions will be answered in the film, folks…!
The twins are stunningly beautiful. There can be no argument about that. In the October 1970 issue of PLAYBOY, Maltese-born Madeleine and Mary Collinson were the first ever twin Playmates Of The Month. If you’ve seen TWINS OF EVIL, you won’t have any difficulty in envisioning the two hot little minxes stripping off for the camera and striking a pose.
Their breasts in TWINS OF EVIL are utterly sublime. Velvety soft, white and round, spilling out of the tight-waisted, low-cut dresses provided by the good folks in Wardrobe. It’s a wonder any of the crew got any work done at all, seriously. I myself could hardly take my eyes off them, and I’m a straight female who loves guys. Still, there’s something about perfect boobies that appeals to either sex, isn’t there? Certainly, there’s something about these perfect boobies, anyway…!
The twins’ outfits throughout the film are uniformly gorgeous. When we first meet them, they’re all tricked out in a delicious green confection that resembles the dress that Scarlett O’Hara made out of her mother’s curtains in GONE WITH THE WIND, much to the disapproval of dear old Mammy.
You know, the dress she was planning to wear to visit Rhett Butler in prison and she was hoping it’d convince Rhett that she still had dough? He saw right through her, naturally, but it was still a fine and dandy dress…!
On another occasion, the brunette twins are wearing pink dresses with the most darling hats to match. The hats are big with candy-striped ribbons wrapped round their brims and, honest to God, they’re the loveliest hats I’ve ever seen in my life.
Whoever dressed the twins really knew their stuff. They ran out of material, of course, when it came to finishing the dresses so that their boobies had to be left mostly uncovered and hanging out due to a shocking shortage of fabric but, well, I don’t suppose anyone got fired for that little oversight…!
I’m sure you know that this marvellous vampire film is part of Hammer’s KARNSTEIN TRILOGY. The other two films are THE VAMPIRE LOVERS (1970) starring Ingrid Pitt, and LUST FOR A VAMPIRE (1970) featuring Yutte Stensgaard.
Every time I think I’ve decided on my favourite film of the trilogy, I watch another one and change my mind all over again. I expect it’s the same with everyone who’s ever watched all three films.
The funniest scene in the film, by the way, has got to be when Count Karnstein’s deaf-mute servant Joachim is pantomiming for the Count’s benefit the weapons with which the angry mob have armed themselves:
Count Karnstein: ‘Not crosses…? And stakes…? And axes…?’
If it doesn’t look like much in print, believe me, it’ll be funny when you watch it…!
Sadly, the lovely Madeleine Collinson, who played the wicked twin Frieda, passed away in 2014 after an illness. Her bewitching beauty and feisty spirit will live on forever in TWINS OF EVIL though. No-one who’s ever seen it could forget either twin. I’m convinced of that.
AUTHOR BIOGRAPHY OF SANDRA HARRIS.
Sandra Harris is a Dublin-based novelist, film blogger and movie reviewer. She has studied Creative Writing and Film-Making. She has published a number of e-books on the following topics: horror film reviews, multi-genre film reviews, womens’ fiction, erotic fiction, erotic horror fiction and erotic poetry. Several new books are currently in the pipeline. You can browse or buy any of Sandra’s books by following the link below straight to her Amazon Author Page:
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