CALIGULA. (1979) DIRECTED BY TINTO BRASS.
PRODUCED BY BOB GUCCIONE AND FRANCO ROSSELLINI.
ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY BY GORE VIDAL.
STARRING MALCOLM MCDOWELL, HELEN MIRREN, TERESA ANN SAVOY, JOHN STEINER, JOHN GIELGUD AND PETER O’TOOLE.
REVIEW BY SANDRA HARRIS. ©
This is a version of the Emperor Caligula’s life and times, and it’s filthy, full of real sex, did you know? No, I won’t wait here patiently while you go and see for yourself, lol. Go check it out after first reading this review, right?
It’s probably the least ‘woke,’ least politically correct film you’ll ever see. I love it for its brilliant casting of Malcolm McDowell as Caligula; his face manages to pull off expressions both angelic and demonic at will. He masterfully demonstrates Caligula’s descent into madness after the death of his sister. (Descent? You mean he wasn’t born as mad as a cracked egg…?! But I could have sworn…)
As the deranged Emperor of Rome, he’s simply sublime in looks and actions. How easy it is to imagine him as the real Caligula, swanning around in his cloak and sandals dispensing harshness and cruelty with one hand and, erm, harshness and cruelty with the other as well. Because he’s harsh and cruel, right, with virtually no redeeming features. Except for his oh-so-brotherly love for his sister, the fair Drusilla. He spends half the movie bedding her, so we can be greatly assured of this royal’s love…
Caligula becomes Emperor after the death of his great-uncle Tiberius, who looks to be dying of some horrible mix of venereal diseases. He’s all scabby and everything. So much for Peter O’Toole as Tiberius, anyway. His role is pretty short-lived, as is John Gielgud’s as Tiberius’s pal, Nerva, who kills himself when he knows that Tiberius is on the way out. Maybe he does it to escape what he knows will be a living hell under Caligula. Maybe it’s a smart move…
A fascinated Caligula to a dying Nerva: Does it hurt, dying? What’s it like…?
Rome under Caligula is a nightmare. He confiscates the senators’ estates for himself and forces their wives to work as prostitutes. (Don’t tell me those horny old biddies, neglected by their ageing hubbies, weren’t all up for it!) He desecrates the old religion and makes his armies prepare for a mock invasion of Britain.
He is a violent, greedy and bullying ruler. Just look what happens to poor Macro, who’s supposed to be his friend. Okay, so it’s a cool, visually arresting death, death by super-scythe, but still, friends…
The whole time, he continues to have sexual relations with his sister, Drusilla, until she dies of a fever, and with Helen Mirren as Caesonia, his girlfriend who gives birth to a child, their daughter. God help her, seriously, the daughter, when she’s old enough to have sex with…
The name of Rome is sullied, a laughing stock, thanks to Caligula’s disgraceful shenanigans. In between things happening, the entire court is having sex, wild, uninhibited glorious sex, sometimes even anonymously, as in, they don’t even know the owner of the cock they’re sucking or the pussy they’re penetrating.
Why so hardcore? All I know is this; Bob Guccione, the owner of Penthouse, another magazine you read for the articles, ordered a lot of nudie sex scenes to be made and added post-production, to the horror of both Gore Vidal the scriptwriter and Tinto Brass the director.
Without having seen a sexless version of the film, which would last, I think, about seven and a half minutes, I think I can safely say that I prefer the sex-filled one. And so would most people with eyes, lol. It’s a marvellous movie, now a cult classic. Just don’t stick it on for the kids by accident…
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